We all have emotions, even the smallest babies! Whether at home, in school, or eventually at work as an adult, the key to your baby’s life successes will be understanding how he feels and being able to express emotions in a suitable way. The technical term for this is emotional intelligence, the ability to understand and manage one’s own emotions and use them appropriately in interacting with others.^1,2 As with other important skills, your baby will begin to learn emotional intelligence during the first five years of his life, which will in turn help him develop his Self-Control and Expressing Feelings abilities.

When he is 3-6 months old, your baby will begin to develop Self-Control skills, learning to ignore disturbances and discomfort by calming himself.³ Although he may need your help to settle down at the beginning, you will soon see him self-soothe, closing his eyes when tired and turning his head away from distractions.⁴ You will also notice him beginning to exhibit regular patterns of sleeping and eating during this period, which will let both of you understand his needs.^3,4 As he matures, your baby will learn additional techniques to calm himself by intentionally bringing his hand to his mouth to suck on his fingers or pacifier,⁵ holding a favorite blanket or toy,⁶ or talking to himself with coos, babbles, and other soft sounds.³

Your baby is also beginning to show preferences for certain toys and people (including you!) at this age.⁶ The development of having “favorites” shows that he is getting to know himself better and will begin deciding what he wants and how he will react in any given situation. For instance, you may find him purposely starting to cry when you stop playing with him or he may reach out to you for comfort when he is bored and needs attention. In both cases, your baby is expressing himself in order to keep some control over the situation. Continue to encourage him to build these Self-Control skills so that he will better understand his own needs and develop the ability to self-regulate on his own over time.

He is now becoming aware that there are appropriate ways to behave socially and handle his emotions. Your baby’s brain is wired to learn through observation of you and those around him.⁸ As such, he will see how to self-regulate and express his feelings as well as understand how he feels, identify his emotions, and react in a socially acceptable manner.^7,8 So be sure to set a good example! By modeling good behavior and positive responses to experiences, you are setting him up for success.

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Play Tips:

Do you want to know how you can support your baby’s development of these Self-Control skills at this age? It’s easy! Read on for some simple tips to incorporate into your daily play time together.

1. Help your baby build his emotional intelligence skills.⁸ You can support the development of your baby’s emotional intelligence by building your attachment to each other. Answer his cries of need by giving him consistent and responsive care^4,6 and offering plenty of one-on-one face time together. Your loving touch will help him grow emotionally, physically, and cognitively, so be sure to share plenty of hugs and kisses together.
2. Maintain a calm and quiet environment for your baby.^2,8 Keep noise levels low by using quiet voices and lowering the volume of audio devices, such as the radio or television, especially when you see that your baby is becoming overstimulated and upset. Maintaining a peaceful environment will help him understand that he should also stay calm and relaxed. If you are experiencing and showing stress and discomfort, your baby will follow your lead. Try to remain calm and emotionally positive when you are near or interacting with him.
3. Give your baby the opportunity to self-soothe first.³ As he grows past his first few months of life, give him time to try to calm himself for a few minutes before coming to his rescue. If his fussing or crying continues, respond with a gentle touch on his back or stomach and use soft words to calm him down. However, if his crying persists and/or grows stronger, try to figure out what he needs and respond appropriately.
4. Initiate interactions with your baby by gently talking or singing to him.³ When your baby is upset and crying, try to use a soft, gentle voice to calm him down or rock and sing to him to alleviate his negative feelings. This friendly stimuli can help distract him from his current frustrations by redirecting his attention to your comforting voice and song.

Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Self-Control developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) he has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

• Turns away from distractions and self-soothes (e.g. sucking fingers or hand).

(SPECIAL OFFER: Sign up for Playful Bee’s Bee Well developmental learning program to give your baby the best start in life. The first 10,000 children enroll for FREE! Sign up today.)

Sources:

¹Early Childhood Today. ECT Interview: Daniel Goleman Talks about Emotional Intelligence. Scholastic: Early Childhood Today. Retrieved January 22, 2014, from http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/article/ect-interview-daniel-goleman-talks-about-emotional-intelligence.

²Singer, Jayne (2007). The Brazelton Touchpoints Approach to Infants and Toddlers in Care: Foundation for a Lifetime of Learning and Loving. Dimensions of Early Childhood, 35(3), 4-10. Retrieved January 22, 2014, from http://www.southernearlychildhood.org/upload/file/SECA%20Radio/The%20Brazelton%20Touchpoints.pdf.

³Maryland State Department of Education (2010). Healthy Beginnings: Supporting Development and Learning from Birth through Three Years of Age. Retrieved February 3, 2014, from http://cte.jhu.edu/onlinecourses/HealthyBeginnings/HBFINAL.pdf.

⁴Illinois State Board of Education. For Children Birth to Age Three: Illinois Early Learning Guidelines. Retrieved January 22, 2014, from http://www.isbe.net/earlychi/pdf/el-guidelines-0-3.pdf.

⁵Nugent, Dr. Kevin, and Morell, Abelardo (2011). Your Baby is Speaking to You. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

⁶Washington State Department of Early Learning (2012). Washington State Early Learning and Development Guidelines: Birth through 3rd Grade. Retrieved January 23, 2014, from http://www.del.wa.gov/publications/development/docs/guidelines.pdf.

⁷Talaris Institute. Information for Parents: Imitation. Talaris Institute. Retrieved February 3, 2014, from http://www.parentingcounts.org/professionals/parenting-handouts/information-for-parents-imitation.pdf.

⁸Gellens, Suzanne R. (2013). Building Brains. St. Paul, MN: Redleaf Press.

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Playful Bee

Education Team at Playful Bee

Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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