Have you ever heard someone say that the best time to learn a foreign language is in the first few years of life, or that it’s good to start music lessons before your child is five years old? Well, there is some truth to all this! According to research, children are more capable of learning certain skills during “windows of learning” where the brain is especially sensitive to particular stimuli and experiences.^1,2 At 2-3 years old, after over two years of loving and attentive care, regular rules and routines, and positive role modeling, your child has reached the “window of learning” for social skills and is ready to build his Self-Control skills and proper social behaviors.

For instance, because his impulse control is now stronger, you will notice that he is better at stopping what he is doing and coming when you call his name. With his increased understanding of expectations and rules, he can follow rules and instructions more easily.^2,3 By providing clear, consistent routines and boundaries, giving him meaningful tasks and simple directions (e.g. “Please put your blocks away before starting your artwork.”), and modeling the type of behavior you would like to see, you are providing him with a road map towards strong Self-Control skills.^4,5

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The building of Self-Control begins when your child is about two years old and is marked by behaviors carried out when you’re not around to supervise and based on his “will and social expectations” (i.e. self-monitoring and self-direction).^5,6 In addition, as he develops the ability to control and manage his behavior, he will also be better able to follow specific directions and take in the given information and use his previous knowledge to help him complete the task at hand.^7,8 And remember, much of the information that guides his self-control was learned while watching you, other trusted adults, and other children (so always be a good role model!).⁹

According to Lev Vygotsky, a leading Russian psychologist and early childhood development pioneer, children learn primarily through social interaction, communications, and pretend play.¹⁰ For children, group interactions and pretend play are central to learning social rules and using them in their daily lives. Up until now, your toddler may have used simple pretend play, such as imitating daily routines, building towers out of blocks, feeding a baby doll, or scribbling on paper, to learn social  rules.  But as your child grows and matures, he will move from simple imitation to creating more complicated story lines, including substituting one object for another (e.g. answering a banana as a telephone) and wanting to involve other children as other characters.^3,9,12,13

When pretend playing alone, your child may be in charge of his entire cast of characters (with the help of her favorite dolls and stuffed animals) and practice specific actions between them as he imitates daily life (e.g. playing “doctor” by examining sick patients). When part of group play (e.g. finding treasures as pirates), children often teach each other the rules of the game and the different characters, making sure that every player knows and follows the group’s rules and their individual parts. If a child steps outside of these defined rules, the other children quickly correct him. Over time, pretend playing in a group will give your child a stronger sense of give and take and help him develop team work skills, learn about different social roles, and how to act in various settings.¹⁰

Because he naturally tends to imitate your actions in order to connect socially, master skills, and develop his independence,⁹ be sure to continue modeling positive behaviors and polite manners now, like sharing and turn taking, and encourage social group and pretend play.¹³

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Play Tips:

Do you want to know how you can support your child’s development of Self-Control skills at this age? It’s easy! Read on for some simple tips to incorporate into your daily play time together.

1. Give simple directions for tasks your child can complete on his own.^5,13 Completing goals and tasks is a big part of developing Self-Control. By giving your child simple 1-2 step instructions, you are helping him learn and build the sequencing skills (i.e. the ability to put things in a logical order) that will help him finish his task on his own.
2. Be clear and consistent about limits and expectations.^13,14 Let other caregivers know your childcare rules and limits so that supervision will the the same at home and at daycare or school.
3. Model the behavior you would like to see.⁵ Your child will learn best from watching the people in his life and how they handle daily situations. If you lose your cool every time you get in the car and yell at the other drivers, don’t be surprised if you hear the same anger and frustration coming from the back seat. On the other hand, if you are polite, use kind words, and take responsibility for your mistakes, chances are you will see the same behaviors in your toddler.
4. Make time for creative social and dramatic play.¹⁴ Through his social and pretend play, your child will form an idea of how to act socially and what his role is. Give him opportunities and a safe environment to practice interactions with others through creative play.

Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Self-Control developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) he has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

• Copies actions and behaviors of adults and friends.

(SPECIAL OFFER: Sign up for Playful Bee’s Bee Well developmental learning program to give your baby the best start in life. The first 10,000 children enroll for FREE! Sign up today.)

Sources:

¹Child Welfare Information Gateway (2009). Understanding the Effects of Maltreatment on Brain Development. Child Welfare Information Gateway: Issue Briefs. Retrieved February 24, 2014, from https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/issue-briefs/brain-development/.

²Bower, Don (1998). Building Baby’s Brain: Prime Times for Learning. The University of Georgia College of Family and Consumer Sciences: Better Brains for Babies. Retrieved March 6, 2014, from http://www.fcs.uga.edu/ext/pubs/chfd/FACS01-3.pdf.

³Massachusetts Department of Early Education and Care (2010). Massachusetts Early Learning Guidelines for Infants and Toddlers. Retrieved March 6, 2014, from http://www.eec.state.ma.us/docs1/Workforce_Dev/Layout.pdf.

⁴Zero to Three. Helping your Child Begin Developing Self-Control. Zero to Three: National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families. Retrieved February 24, 2014, from http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/social-emotional-development/teaching-your-child-discipline-and-self-control.html.

⁵Talaris Institute. Information for Parents: Imitation. Talaris Institute. Retrieved February 24, 2014 from http://www.parentingcounts.org/professionals/parenting-handouts/information-for-parents-imitation.pdf.

⁶Boekaerts, Monique; Pintrich, Paul R.; and Zeidner, Moshe (Eds.) (2005). Handbook of Self-Regulation. Burlington, MA: Elsevier Academic Press.

⁷Crockenberg, S. and Litman, C. (1990). Autonomy as Competence in 2-Year-Olds: Maternal Correlates of Child Defiance, Compliance, and Self-Assertion. Developmental Psychology, 26, 961-971.

⁸Schneider-Rosen, K. and Wenz-Gross, M. (1990). Patterns of Compliance from Eighteen to Thirty Months of Age. Child Development, 61, 104–112.

⁹Newman, Barbara and Newman, Phillip (2006). Development through Life: A Psychosocial Approach (9th Edition). Belmont, CA: Thomas Wadsworth.

¹⁰Mooney, Carol Garhart (2000). Theories of Childhood: An Introduction to Dewey, Montessori, Erikson, Piaget, and Vygotsky. St Paul, MN: Redleaf Press.

¹¹Carlson, Neil R; Buskist, William; Enzle, Michael, E.; and Heth, C. Donald (2009). Psychology: The Science of Behaviour (7th ed.). Toronto, Ontario: Pearson Education Canada.

¹²Rathus, S. A. (2011). Childhood and Adolescence: Voyages in Development. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning.

¹³Alaska Department of Education and Early Development and Alaska Department of Health and Social Services (2007). State of Alaska Early Learning Guidelines: A Resource for Parents and Early Educators. Retrieved February 24, 2014 from https://education.alaska.gov/publications/earlylearningguidelines.pdf.

¹⁴Nevada Office of Early Care and Education and Nevada Department of Education (2011). Nevada Infant and Toddler Early Learning Guidelines. Retrieved February 24, 2014 from http://www.nevadaregistry.org/fb_files/InfantToddlerGuidelinesDRAFTAugust2011.pdf.

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Playful Bee

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Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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