Empathy is “the experience of understanding another person’s condition from their perspective.”¹ The ability to put yourself in another’s shoes, so to speak. This is a skill that develops early in life. By the age of 2-3 years, your toddler has developed a working knowledge of feelings and is beginning to really show Empathy for Others. According to the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC), toddlers are capable of demonstrating three types of empathy: proximal, altruistic, and self-corrective.²

Proximal empathy happens when your child sees another person nearby who is upset or hurt, by no fault of his own, and offers care and support.² Through observation, and based on cues like facial expression, body position, and language, he will notice the other person’s feelings. In particular at this age, your child will begin to be aware of the feelings of other children and will increasingly understand and express concern for his friends’ feelings by offering kind words, a gentle touch, or even his favorite toy to make a sad child feel better. He may even notice a friend having trouble cleaning up and offer to help the friend pick up toys.

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In altruistic empathy, your child will notice that a distant person is in need of help and will stop his own current activity in order to offer care and support.² He may be building a sand castle at one end of the playground, but drop what he’s doing to help a friend get up after noticing her trip and fall near the swing set.

Self-corrective empathy is how your child responds to hurting another person because he feels bad about causing the hurt and upset.² You may hear him say “I’m sorry” after accidentally bumping into another child or see him giving comfort with a hug or pat of the hand to an upset friend he hit just moments before.^3,4

A big part of learning how to empathize with others is practicing prosocial behaviors, such as having care and consideration for others. Prosocial behavior is defined as “voluntary behavior intended to benefit another”⁵ and is shown by your child’s concern for another person’s well-being, feelings, and needs. These behaviors are generally grouped into three categories: sharing (e.g. turn taking or offering toys to a friend), helping (e.g. showing compassion and empathy when a friend cries by offering a hug, helping with a task, or rescuing from distress), and cooperation (e.g. compromising on how to play a game).”^2,6

According to the Talaris Research Institute, children as young as 13-15 months begin exhibiting prosocial behaviors by giving another child a simple hug or pat of the hand to make him or her feel better. As they approach toddlerhood, they are able to offer more types of comfort and support, including sharing toys or treats, verbal support (e.g. asking “Boo boo?”), and getting the correct type of help (e.g. bandages or tissues). By the time they reach 2 years old, young children are able to help out on their own without the prompting of caregivers.⁷

The key to prosocial behavior is that it is a voluntary act of kindness and consideration. When a caregiver makes him share a toy against his will or say “I’m sorry” for hitting a friend, this is not prosocial behavior. It has to come from your child, on his own. At 2-3 years old, he is starting to show more concern and help towards others, but he may not be prosocial all of the time.⁷ By helping him understand empathy, modeling ways to offer kindness and consideration, and encouraging empathetic behavior in certain social situations, you are helping him build his own prosocial behaviors over time.

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Play Tips:

Do you want to know how you can support your child’s development of Empathy for Others skills at this age? It’s easy! Read on for some simple tips to incorporate into your daily play time together.

1. Help your child identify and verbalize how others feel.^7,8 To build your child’s empathy, ask him if he can name other people’s feelings, such as happy, sad, upset, or excited. Ask him questions that will help him understand another person’s perspective, such as “How does Daddy feel when you color on his papers?” or “Do you like it when Joey doesn’t share his toy cars with you?” Talk about other people’s emotions and what may have caused them. Ask your child to tell you how he would feel if he were in the same situation and point out what would make him feel better.
2. Encourage your child to be kind to others every day.⁹ Build your toddler’s prosocial behaviors by modeling how to be thoughtful and pointing out kind and friendly behaviors made by your child and others around him.³ Teach him these concepts by reading books or telling stories about kindness using dolls or puppets. And, be sure to praise him when he shows kindness and consideration toward others.
3. Point out “considerate” opportunities for your child to help others. Your child will develop stronger consideration and empathy by relating to others in need and helping them out. Ask him to help you with appropriate jobs, like feeding the dog or setting up the table for dinner. After he helps out, be sure to talk about how thoughtful he is and point out what he did with specific positive feedback. For instance, say “Can you help mommy pick up the papers on the floor? I’m so busy trying to cook breakfast” and then “I love how you helped me by cleaning up the papers. You are such a good helper! Thank you for thinking of me.” Not only will encouraging your child to help with age-appropriate tasks support his interest in helping others, but it will also give him a wonderful sense of accomplishment and build his self-esteem.

Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Empathy for Others developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) she has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

• Shows concern for a crying friend.

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Sources:

¹Psychology Today. Empathy. Psychology Today. Retrieved March 10, 2014, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/empathy.

²Quann, Valerie; and Wien, Carol Anne (2006). The Visible Empathy of Infants and Toddlers. National Association for the Education of Young Children: Beyond the Journal.Retrieved February 26, 2014, from https://www.naeyc.org/files/yc/file/200607/Quann709BTJ.pdf.

³Maryland State Department of Education (2010). Healthy Beginnings: Supporting Development and Learning from Birth through Three Years of Age.

⁴Kansas State Department of Education. Kansas Early Learning Standards: Building the Foundation for Successful Children.

⁵Eisenberg, N.; R.A. Fabes; and T.L. Spinrad (2006). Prosocial Development. In W. Damon & R. Lerner (Eds.), Handbook of Child Psychology, Volume 3, Social, Emotional, and Personality Development (6th ed.) (pp. 647–702). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.

⁶Preusse, Kathy. Fostering Prosocial Behavior in Young Children. Early Childhood News.Retrieved February 26, 2014, from http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlychildhood/article_view.aspx?ArticleID=566.

⁷Talaris Research Institute (2010). Empathy: Big Feelings from Little Ones. Raising Children Network. Retrieved February 26, 2014, from http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/are_you_ok_daddy_-_big_feelings_from_little_ones.html.

⁸Texas Early Learning Council. Little Texans, Big Futures: Your Early Learning Guide for Infants, Toddlers, and Three-Year-Olds.

⁹Parlakian, Rebecca and Lerner, Claire (2009). Tips on Helping Your Child Develop Empathy. Zero to Three: National Center on Infants, Toddlers, and Families. Retrieved February 26, 2014, from http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/social-emotional-development/take-a-walk-in-my-shoes.html.

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Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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