One of the best ways to create order in your child’s life is by establishing a daily routine, and by 18-24 months, your toddler should be getting familiar with Following Rules and Routines. Though shifting from one activity to another is becoming easier for him by now, don’t be surprised if a sudden change in schedule still causes a lot of anxiety. You should know that when this happens, your child is protesting because he is focused primarily on his own interests (e.g. “I don’t want to leave for Grandma’s. I want to play with my toy cars. “) and may not fully understand or accept the idea of “have to” situations and schedules yet.

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Part of your child’s anxiety with change is his sudden loss of control, so help him feel like he’s in control by letting him in on what’s going on.¹ Develop a transition routine, starting with a warning that a change from one activity to another is about to happen.² With information in hand, he will be ready for the next event, which could mean the difference between a smooth transition and a temper tantrum.³

A brief announcement, like “We’re leaving in five minutes to see Grandma, finish up with your cars and blocks,” will prepare your toddler for the coming transition. Similarly, consider using transition games and songs, like the “Clean Up” song, that will not only prepare him for the transition, but also distract him from his current activity.⁴ And don’t forget to get yourself 100 percent ready for the next task before you ask him to change his activity. This will help maximize his playtime and avoid making him wait idly as you prepare for the next item on the schedule.

As your child matures, he may even begin telling you what to do next if you keep to a regular schedule! For instance, he may start to feed the dog at the start of each day or head to the bathroom for bath time at night. Consistency is very important at this age because it helps define boundaries and gives him a chance to mentally prepare himself for the next activity. Developmental Psychologist Erik Erikson considered the challenge of this stage to be your child’s struggle between Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt.⁵ According to Erikson, your toddler will learn to explore more confidently when he is fully aware of his boundaries. But if you always get upset or punish him without making sure he knows the rules, he will eventually question his judgment and explore less over time.

This desire for order and routine shows itself in another trait at 18-24 months old: the desire to know where all of his things are located in his room. He may also prefer to play in the same area of the room every day. To encourage independent play, create a safe and toddler-proof play space by removing anything you don’t want your child to handle and explaining to him that he may play with anything in the given space.⁶

Be sure to guide him on cleaning up and putting away each toy, book, or game before moving on to his next activity. Not only will this help him build his organizational skills, but it will help develop the mid-prefrontal cortex of his brain, which controls his “attention-span, problem-solving, and mood and body regulation.”⁷ Make clean up time fun by having a race, singing a song, or stacking something in a unique or silly way. Building “clean up” and “put away” routines into your daily schedule may be difficult at first, but they will develop your child’s self-concept along with the skills needed to follow rules and routines.

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Play Tips:

Do you want to know how you can support your child’s development of Following Rules and Routines skills at this age? It’s easy! Read on for some simple tips to incorporate into your daily play time together.

1. Establish a consistent daily schedule.⁸ Children who know what to expect are quicker to give trust, easier to move from one activity to another, and less fussy when it comes to change. To encourage your child to take part in daily tasks, create simple routines that he can remember and follow. Consider putting up a visual daily schedule for him to participate in and rely on for information.
2. Create transition routines.⁹ Letting your child know what will happen next will help him feel in control and prepare for the future switching of activities. Start of by giving him a five minute warning that he’ll have to change activities. To make the transition more interesting (and yes, distracting), include the use of fun games and songs, like the “Clean Up” song, and it never hurts to be prepared with special objects to give him during transitions. By letting him bring his favorite doll to the market or bring home a prized leaf found at the park, he may actually feel good about taking a part of his activity with him on the go!
3. Keep rules constant and acknowledge good behavior.¹ Toddlers only relate to two rules: “This is okay for me to do” and “This is not okay for me to do.” Be sure that your rules do not depend on the situation, place, or caregiver. For example, if you tell your child not to play with the television remote control at home, it should also be off limits at Grandma’s house. By staying consistent with your rules, your toddler will quickly become familiar with his boundaries and learn to follow the rules as expected of him. When he does follow the rules successfully, remember to recognize his efforts and give praise in the form of a smile, hug, and specific mention of his good behavior.
4. Make your child’s room his own to explore independently.⁶ Organize your child’s room so that he knows what to expect and how to find things on his own. Over time, he will be able to play on his own since he knows how to help himself to his toys and put them away, and remember to firmly remind him to put away his toys before moving onto new activities in order to develop order and routine. If his room looks like it exploded, with toys strewn everywhere, clean-up time can become an intimidating task. So be sure to encourage him to clean up each toy before moving onto the next activity.
5. Encourage positive behaviors with positive reinforcement.⁵ Try using the carrot, not the stick. While it may seem easier to use punishment to change your child’s behavior, it is often more effective to use positive reinforcement. This will get him to act because he wants to, not because he needs to. Use a warm tone and supportive words and gestures when you ask him to do something (e.g. “I would really love it if you can help me put away the blanket. Can you be my helper?”), reward him with affection (e.g. hugs and high fives), or entice him with small rewards (e.g. sticker board, trip to the park, or five more minutes of bath time). The goal is to not control your child, but to help him develop the desire to help himself and cooperate with others.

Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Following Rules and Routines developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) she has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

• Responds to 1-step verbal directions without gestures.

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Sources:

¹Illinois State Board of Education. For Children Birth to Age Three: Illinois Early Learning Guidelines.

²Pennsylvania Office of Child Development and Early Learning (2009). Pennsylvania Learning Standards for Early Childhood.

³Black, Rosemary. Easing a Toddler’s Daily Transitions. Parents. Retrieved February 21, 2014, from http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/easing-daily-transitions/?page=2.

⁴Feldman, Jean R. Transition Time Tricks. Early Childhood News. Retrieved February 21, 2014, from http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlychildhood/article_view.aspx?ArticleID=309

⁵Mooney, Carol Garhart (2000). Theories of Childhood: An Introduction to Dewey, Montessori, Erikson, Piaget, and Vygotsky. St Paul, MN: Redleaf Press.

⁶Harrington, Robert G. Temper Tantrums: Guideline for Parents. National Association of School Psychologist (NASP) Resources. Retrieved February 21, 2014, from http://www.nasponline.org/resources/behavior/tantrums_ho.aspx.

⁷Carter, Melissa (2013). How to Get Your Toddler to Tidy Up. Today’s Parent.Retrieved February 21, 2014, from http://www.todaysparent.com/toddler/how-to-get-your-toddler-to-tidy-up/.

⁸Markham, Laura. Routines and Structures that Toddlers Can Understand. Aha! Parenting.Retrieved February 21, 2014, from http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/toddlers/routine_schedule_toddler

⁹What to Expect. Transitioning Toddlers Between Activities. What to Expect.Retrieved February 21, 2014, from http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler-discipline/transitioning-toddlers-between-activities.aspx.

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Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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