Children between the ages of four and five often truly are happiest when they are clear about what the rules are and how to follow them. If you have a babysitter, your child may tell him or her exactly what the bedtime rules and routines are, including what to do and in what order.  You may bump into this yourself, if you change a routine without warning, don’t follow a household rule, or skip a page in a familiar book. Most likely, he’ll quickly call you out on your infraction!

As much as you can, keep your schedule predictable, and talk about any special events well in advance. Make sure that all rules are followed, by you and your child, unless you make it clear that certain rules are for adults and some are for children (e.g. only grown-ups get to drive cars!). He may be very sensitive if you break a rule that he must follow.

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Play Tips:

How can you support your child’s development of this Following Rules and Routines skill at this age? It’s as easy as 1-2-3.

1. Be consistent. Being consistent in your expectations and keeping to a predictable schedule will help your child more easily follow rules and routines. If there are certain rules or activities you want to highlight, talk about them early in the day, so your child will know what to expect. Be sure to plan enough time for your child to transition from one activity to the next. You may also want to set rewards and consequences for following rules. Again, be consistent in delivering these rewards and consequences.
2. Be clear. Don’t make the rules too difficult or confusing to follow. The clearer you can make the rules, the easier it will be for your child to follow them. For example, try not to put conditions on a rule, such as, “No shoes in the house, unless you’re just going to the bathroom, or grabbing a snack from the kitchen.” In this case, “No shoes in the house” is enough.
3. Don’t be too troubled by defiance of the rules. For starters, at this age some children may try to get around a rule that doesn’t make sense to them or seems unfair. In this case, the best thing to do is to explain the rule, such as, “It’s important to not stand on the chair in order to stay safe. That’s why Mom and Dad don’t stand on chairs, either.” Some children are dealing with new emotions or understanding how to relate to people, and some are even testing control and limits. You may see this come out in name-calling or back talk.  Be sure to stay calm and label his emotions for him. Then let him know that his action is not okay, without giving the action any more attention.
4. Consider making family rules. Letting children be part of the rule-making process can be a good way to help them feel more involved and invested in the rules of the house. Sit down together as a family and pick an area or two that you feel needs a little help with rules. You may talk about rules for mealtime, bedtime, or for when you’re in the car or a store. Ask your child what would make a good rule or what would be appropriate behavior for a certain situation. You may want to write down the rules or draw a picture for each one and display it prominently. This can be particularly helpful for rules that tend to get broken! But with your child helping to create the rules, you can ask him to help with enforcement, too!

(Playful Bee is launching our new DIY Preschool from Birth program! Click here to enroll.)

Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Following Rules and Routines developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) he has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

• Follows rules and routines.
• Requests more independence.
• Is more proficient with self-help skills.
• Is sometimes demanding, other times cooperative.
• Expresses anger verbally instead of physically, most of the time.

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Playful Bee

Education Team at Playful Bee

Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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