Emotional Intelligence: Your Toddler Learning How to Express Himself

Emotional Intelligence: Your Toddler Learning How to Express Himself

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Most of us think of school smarts and the like when we think of intelligence. However, some experts have proposed that there are other kinds of intelligence, including emotional intelligence.1 Emotional intelligence, which is the ability to understand, manage, and use emotions appropriately in society,1 is an important part of your baby’s school and life successes.2 

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Developmental Stages for Emotional Intelligence

Children begin to develop emotional intelligence during the first five years of life. Through repeated experiences and emotional support, your baby’s brain will become wired in a way that lets him understand how he feels, identify and describe those feelings, and decide how he will express and act on them.3 The first 18 months of your baby’s life are critical to laying down the foundations of healthy emotional development, so be sure to continue to build his Attachment and Trust with you and respond appropriately when he’s Expressing Feelings.3

At 12-18 months old, children are able to express themselves better than ever before, because they have developed a better understanding of what is going on around them and how they feel about it. You can see this when your baby smiles or laughs upon seeing a familiar friend or happily waves good-bye when daddy leaves for work.

Expressing Feelings and Your Toddler’s Self-Concept

Your baby’s Expressing Feelings abilities continue to grow and change at this age as he becomes more aware of his own Self-Concept and independence. He is making more choices on his own and developing distinct preferences about many things, including what he wants to eat, what he wants to wear, and what he wants to play with.4 He will now be quicker to respond to situations and express a variety of feelings, such as crying and hiding his face when he’s upset, saying “no” when he does not want to eat something, or putting up a fight when he does not want his bath time to end. You may even see him take his frustrations out on others by hitting, kicking or biting when he does not get his way.5 

These flare ups, or temper tantrums, may become more common as your baby leaves infancy and enters the complex emotional stage of toddlerhood.6 As he gets more difficult to coax and manage, you may find yourself struggling to complete daily tasks that were once easy and quick, like getting dressed for the day or fastening him into his car seat.

On the positive side, you will also see your baby enthusiastically show his joy, pride in new accomplishments, and love for his favorite people. He will smile proudly when his art work is displayed on the refrigerator door or feel good when he nicely “shares” his favorite toys with you to play with together.5

Imitative Play: Your Toddler Learns to Express Himself from You

You may also notice that your baby is engaging in more imitative play around this time. He may copy you by talking on his play phone, scolding one of his stuffed toys, or preparing a meal in his play pots and pans. These imitations of you and those around him are another way he learns to identify and express the variety of emotions out there, letting him express the feelings associated with everyday life.3

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Play Tips:

Do you want to know how you can support your baby’s development of Expressing Feelings skills at this age? It’s easy! Read on for some simple tips to incorporate into your daily play time together.

  1. Develop an appropriate response to tantrums.5 When a tantrum or conflict happens, respond quickly to your baby’s feelings by removing him from the situation, acknowledging his feelings, and talking to him about what happened. Try using a firm but gentle tone to let him know that you understand his feelings, but that physical and disruptive outbursts are not acceptable behavior. You can also consider offering an alternative activity or distraction to help refocus his energies in a more constructive and positive way, such as playing with bubbles, reading a favorite book, or taking a walk outside.
  2. Introduce “Time Outs.”7,8,9 If your baby is unable to calm down from a prolonged tantrum or continues to disobey rules by hitting or playing rough with others, consider putting him in a “time out.” Time outs are not punishments, but are essentially quiet times that allow your baby to disengage from stimuli in order to calm himself down. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, time outs can be effective for your 1 year old, if you respond to the behavior immediately, calmly tell him that he should sit still and quietly, and give him positive attention when he has successfully calmed down. At this age, while many experts recommend defining his time out by his age (1 minute for every year), you may also consider ending the session whenever he has effectively controlled his emotions and improved his behavior. Also, don’t forget to give your baby plenty of “time ins,” or positive attention whenever he’s behaving well, so that he can build an understanding that “time outs” are related to bad behaviors.
  3. Demonstrate how to use a “gentle touch.”5 Stand firm against hitting, pulling on hair, biting, and using rough behavior towards others, especially children and pets. Encourage your baby to practice being nice and praise him for his efforts.
  4. Practice emotional intelligence. Play games with your baby that let you use facial expressions. Look into a mirror with your baby and smile, and frown, or look scared or excited. While make these expressions, name the feelings that they express. Encourage him to follow your lead and make faces that can be named. Read books about emotions and feelings, and use clear language to express your feelings. This practice will help your baby develop emotional intelligence and allow him to manage his social relationships more easily as he grows.
  5. Avoid conflict over food at mealtimes. Many parents often find themselves in power struggles at the dinner table, with their child refusing to eat anything put before him. Consider offering your baby two healthy food choices to select from, but try not to give in to tantrums. By offering choices, he may take more ownership of his meal and happily eat away.

Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Emotional Intelligence developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) he has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

  • Has temper tantrums or easily gets frustrated.

(SPECIAL OFFER: Sign up for Playful Bee’s Bee Well developmental learning program to give your baby the best start in life. The first 10,000 children enroll for FREE! Sign up today.)

 

Sources:

1Early Childhood Today. ECT Interview: Daniel Goleman Talks about Emotional Intelligence. Scholastic: Early Childhood Today. Retrieved January 22, 2014, from http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/article/ect-interview-daniel-goleman-talks-about-emotional-intelligence.

2Singer, Jayne (2007). The Brazelton Touchpoints Approach to Infants and Toddlers in Care: Foundation for a Lifetime of Learning and Loving. Dimensions of Early Childhood,35(3), 4-10.

3Gellens, Suzanne R. (2013). Building Brains. St. Paul, MN: Redleaf Press.

4Pennsylvania Office of Child Development and Early Learning (2009). Pennsylvania Learning Standards for Early Childhood.

5Maryland State Department of Education (2010). Healthy Beginnings: Supporting Development and Learning from Birth through Three Years of Age.

6Pendley, Jennifer Shroff (2012). Temper Tantrums. KidsHealth. Retrieved February 28, 2014, from http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/tantrums.html.

7Spencer, Paula. Time Outs: How to Make them Work (12 to 24 months). BabyCenter. Retrieved February 19, 2014, from http://www.babycenter.com/0_time-outs-how-to-make-them-work-12-to-24-mo_12252.bc.

8American Academy of Pediatrics. Practice Guide: Effective Discipline. BabyCenter. Retrieved February 19, 2014, from https://www2.aap.org/sections/scan/practicingsafety/Modules/EffectiveDiscipline/EffectiveDiscipline.pdf.

9Ask Dr. Sears. 10 Time-Out Techniques. Ask Dr. Sears. Retrieved February 19, 2014, from http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/10-time-out-techniques.

Playful Bee

Education Team at Playful Bee
Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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