Your four- to five-year-old child is becoming more and more capable of doing things for himself. As a result, he may ask to do more and more, even if he’s not quite ready to do everything perfectly. He may want to pick out his own clothes, but not take the weather into consideration. He might want to brush his own hair even though he always misses a spot in the back. As long as safety is not an issue, do your best to let him try and practice independence. This is the best way for him to learn! It will also keep him from relying on you to do things that he is capable of.

Supporting Self-Concept and Independence

How can you support your child’s development of this Self-Concept skill at this age? It’s as easy as 1-2-3.

1. Have patience. There are bound to be spills, messes, and mistakes on your child’s journey to independence. Look for ways to praise the effort, even if the end result is less than desirable. And remember, practice makes perfect. Just like anyone learning something new, your child will need to practice a task many times to be able to do it successfully and efficiently.
2. Make independence easier. As with anything in life, practice will make perfect. However, there are little things you can do to help make it easier for your child to be independent. If he wants to put on his shoes by himself, find ones with hook-and-loop fasteners (e.g. Velcro) rather than more complicated laces. Make it easy for him to get his own drink by keeping a small, lightweight pitcher and glasses on a low table or providing a step stool to help your child reach the refrigerator water dispenser. Another way to promote independence is to store your child’s toys, books, and art supplies on low shelves where he can reach them himself. Then he won’t need to depend on you to entertain him.
3. If necessary, step in with “finishing touches.” It’s very likely when your child starts doing a task on his own, it won’t be perfect. A great example is brushing his teeth. His motor skills may not be ready for him to get them completely clean. He may also, for example, want to tie his own shoes, but leave his laces trailing on the ground. Set up a habit of putting the “finishing touches” on a task, whatever it may be, while praising him for the effort he’s done. This isn’t necessary for most tasks, but if health or safety is involved (such as properly brushed teeth or safely-tied shoelaces), step in in a polite manner.

Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Self-Concept developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) he has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

• Requests more independence
• Is more proficient with self-help skills

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Playful Bee

Education Team at Playful Bee

Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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