Age four can be a challenging time, emotionally. Children are often torn between being cooperative and wanting to participate, and wanting more independence and acting rude or demanding. They may also be uncertain in different situations but hide it with bossiness or other misbehavior. As the year goes on, however, your child can learn to be in better control of her emotions and better able to process her feelings, with your guidance. She will take what you’ve taught her about conflict resolution and, with occasional prompting, start being able to solve some of her negative interactions on her own. She also has the desire to be with friends and will start to understand that pro-social behaviors – cooperating, sharing, taking turns – are all part of getting along.

Play Tips:

How can you support your child’s development of this Cooperation skill at this age? It’s as easy as 1-2-3.

1. Help a demanding child with laughter. A child who is bossy is often sensitive and has anxiety, being frightened and overwhelmed in situations with other children. Bossiness can be an attempt to control the situation. However, as other children don’t want to be bossed around, the strategy backfires, and the child can react with anger. It may be hard to talk to her about her true feelings, which involve fear. Try to access these feelings by playing the You’re the Boss game. Let your child be in control and boss you around. As you follow her orders, act silly, messing up the instructions and acting clueless. Your goal is to make her laugh, which will help release her anxiety and build her trust in you. It may also help her act through scenarios that have made her anxious.
2. Stay calm and offer cuddles. Some children have trouble soothing themselves, even at the age of four. You can actually teach your child to soothe herself by the way you soothe her. If she reacts to a situation with anger or tears, offer hugs and snuggles to help her calm down. These hugs can actually help release soothing hormones such as oxytocin, which will help her over time to soothe herself. And be sure to stay calm yourself to help model the appropriate way to deal with a challenging situation. This also shows your child that this is not an emergency situation – you are calm, so your child knows that it’s safe for her to calm down, as well.
3. Model, model, model! As always, modeling the positive way to act in social situations will help your child learn pro-social behaviors. If there are specific scenarios you’d like to address, consider role playing different situations or using puppets to act out the different roles. You can also look for books that explain to children how to work through interactions they find difficult or challenging.

Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Cooperation developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) he has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

• Requests more independence.
• Is sometimes demanding, other times cooperative.
• Expresses anger verbally instead physically, most of the time.

• About
• Latest Posts

Playful Bee

Education Team at Playful Bee

Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

Latest posts by Playful Bee (see all)

• Have a Super Fortune Cookie Friday! - February 9, 2018
• All Kinds of Shapes: Your Child Is Learning Simple Shapes, and Drawing Them Too! - November 13, 2017
• Fishing for Sneakers: Create your own Hand-Eye Coordination Fun - November 11, 2017