As your child has gotten older, he has become more independent, but he still needs support, comfort, and care from you, and the Attachment and Trust between you has continued to grow. Attachment refers to the “strong, long lasting bond which develops between a [child] and his or her caregiver.”¹ It may also come as no surprise that the Attachment and Trust between you and your child lets him feel safe and secure enough to go out and learn about the world around him.² But did you know that they also help with healthy brain development?³ When children feel safe and secure, they can focus on interacting with people and their environment, and therefore on learning.⁴

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When your 18-24-month-old child explores a new environment, or even a familiar one, he will still rely on you as his silent partner and protector. He will continue to seek the security and approval of you and other trusted adults as he tries new activities and meets unfamiliar people. You may find him following you everywhere, like a shadow. Or, he may check in with you regularly to make sure that what he is doing is okay and that you are still nearby as his safety net. He looks to you as a model of social behavior, letting him know the proper way to continue what he’s doing.⁵

As a result, you may find him running off to check out what other children on the playground are doing, but return to you several times before being ready to start playing next to them.⁶ He may sit down with his blocks next to other children, but come back to show you what he has made.⁶ Or, he may look up at you for a smile of support before going down the slide at the park.⁷ During this phase, keep an eye on him to give him a smile or supportive words that will encourage him to continue playing independently.

Although stranger anxiety typically peaks and starts decreasing around 15 months,⁸ many toddlers still cope with varying degrees of distress when they are near unfamiliar people. Your child may stop what he’s doing and run up to you when he spots a stranger.⁶ He may show caution around new people by watching them do something from a distance. He probably won’t want to make eye contact with a stranger, instead looking away or hiding behind mom and dad’s legs. And if someone does approach and says “hello,” he will likely want you to hold his hand to get through the experience.⁶ If this is the case, don’t push things. Instead, allow your child to meet new people at his own pace and on his own terms. By meeting strangers when he’s ready, his trust in new people will improve as well as his trust in you for allowing him to follow his own methods.

Play Tips:

Do you want to know how you can support your child’s development of Building Relationships and Attachment and Trust skills at this age? It’s easy! Read on for some simple tips to incorporate into your daily play time together.

1. Let your child know that he is safe.⁸ When your child goes off to play, stay nearby so that you can offer him support and encouragement with a look of approval, warm smile, or big high-5 when he shows you a new action or creation! If he shies away from strangers, talk about his feelings and let him know that he’s okay and safe. To encourage him around a new person, let him know that the person is a friend and that it’s safe to say “hello.” Talk warmly with the new person and encourage your child to respond when he’s ready.
2. Praise your child when he has positive social interactions.⁹ Toddlers need constant feedback to teach them how to behave appropriately. While it is important for you to keep your child safe by saying “no” to certain things (e.g. a cupboard of cleaning supplies, climbing on the coffee table), the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) agree that positive reinforcement is the most successful way to teach. Cheering him on for making good choices is a good way to make sure that those choices will be repeated. If you see inappropriate behavior, address the behavior and redirect him quickly without much fanfare. The bigger and stronger your reaction, either positive or negative, the more influence you’ll have on him, and the more likely the behavior is to reappear.
3. Provide a regular routine and schedule.⁶ Trust is a delicate balance between you and your toddler. In order for your child to attach himself and trust you, your behavior needs to be predictable. Having routines and schedules that are fairly constant from day to day will allow him to feel more comfortable with what to expect and when to expect it. This will help him understand that his needs will be met in a timely fashion and that you are tuned in to his physical and emotional states.

(SPECIAL OFFER: Sign up for Playful Bee’s Bee Well developmental learning program to give your baby the best start in life. The first 10,000 children enroll for FREE! Sign up today.)

Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Building Relationships and Attachment and Trust developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) she has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

• Knows familiar people’s names.

Sources:

¹Women’s and Children’s Health Network. Attachment. Women’s and Children’s Health Network: Parenting and Child Health. Retrieved February 20, 2014, from http://www.cyh.com/healthtopics/healthtopicdetails.aspx?p=114&np=99&id=1931.

²Sears, Dr. William, and Sears, Martha (2001). The Attachment Parenting Book. New York, NY: Little, Brown and Company.

³Shonkoff, Jack P., and Phillips, Deborah A. (editor) (2000). From Neurons to Neighborhoods: The Science of Early Childhood Development. Washington, DC: National Academy Press.

⁴Haiman, Peter Ernest (2012). Why Early Attachment Matter for Childhood, and Beyond. Attachment Parenting International: The Attached Family. Retrieved March 5, 2014, from http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=3250.

⁵Abedon, Emily Perlman. Toddler Empathy. Parents. Retrieved February 19, 2014, from http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/toddler-empathy/.

⁶Maryland State Department of Education (2010). Healthy Beginnings: Supporting Development and Learning from Birth through Three Years of Age.

⁷District of Columbia Office of the State Superintendent of Education (2008). District of Columbia Early Learning Standards for Infants and Toddlers.

⁸Zolten, Kristin, and Long, Nicholas (2006). Stranger Anxiety. Center for Effective Parenting. Retrieved February 20, 2014, from http://www.parenting-ed.org/handouts/stranger%20anxiety.pdf.

⁹American Academy of Pediatrics. Practice Guide: Effective Discipline. American Academy of Pediatrics. Retrieved February 19, 2014, from https://www2.aap.org/sections/scan/practicingsafety/Modules/EffectiveDiscipline/EffectiveDiscipline.pdf.

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Playful Bee

Education Team at Playful Bee

Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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