You might have expected your newborn to go between sleeping, eating, and crying, so you may be surprised by all the other activity going on! Even at 0-3 months, your baby will show his Expressing Feelings skills by smiling, moving and wiggling, gurgling and cooing, fussing, crying (of course!), and using various facial expressions to let you know how he feels or that he needs something.¹ He will express his feelings in order to interact with you, seeking soothing touch and attention from you, his primary caregiver. During this stage, your baby will also react strongly to noises in the environment and will respond by reaching out to you for support, if frightened.

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To encourage the development of your baby’s Expressing Feelings skills, and Attachment and Trust as well, you should follow his lead and respond swiftly to his cries of happiness or distress.² These experiences between you and your baby are a complex communication dance, which will influence his future ability to trust and interact with the people and the world around him.

All babies are born with different temperaments and unique dispositions. While some infants are often sunny and happy all day long, others may have a more fussy or challenging nature. Fussing typically starts off as a less intense form of crying where your baby may begin shifting restlessly in his seat and vocalizing his need for attention. If his needs are not met, he will likely go from a manageable fuss to a full-blown cry, increasing his physical movements and yelling out in a more distressed way, demanding some relief or comfort.³ In essence, your baby’s initial fussing is his way of saying to you, “Pay attention to me. I need your help now.”²

Do you feel like your baby fusses and cries all the time? Are you often at a loss trying to figure out what’s upsetting him so much? If your answer is yes, you may have a colicky baby. Although some babies are more prone to inconsolable crying than others, it is not clear what the root of colic is. Some babies may be experiencing pain or discomfort caused by some physical or gastrointestinal (stomach or digestive) issue, while other babies may just be more sensitive to environmental stimuli, such as bright lights or loud noises, and have not figured out how to block out those distractions.³

Dr. Harvey Karp, a leading pediatrician from University of California Los Angeles School of Medicine, believes that newborns are often more fussy and feel unsettled because they are born during their “fourth trimester.” This refers to the first three months of a child’s life, a time when they are not yet fully mature and ready to handle life outside of Mom’s safe and cozy womb.⁴ To remedy colic and seemingly endless fussing, Dr. Karp recommends practicing the 5 S’s to create conditions similar to those in the womb that will help soothe and calm distressed newborns.^4,5 The 5 S’s are meant to be carried out in the order below, starting off with the simple swaddling of your baby and incrementally adding successive techniques until he has calmed down.

• Swaddle: By snugly wrapping your baby in a blanket to contain his arm and leg movements, you are helping to recreate the restricted environment he experienced inside his mother’s womb. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), when done correctly, swaddling can help calm your baby by creating a sense of security and boundary needed to help him relax and quiet down. This technique is particularly effective in promoting sleep.⁶
• Side or Stomach position: Babies often feel more secure and comfortable when they are held on their sides or stomachs, not on their backs as recommended for sleep time by the US National Institute of Child Health and Human Development’s (NICHD) “Safe to Sleep” campaign to help prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).⁷ You can hold your baby on his side or on his tummy while awake in your arms or on your lap, but be sure to use this technique for soothing only and to place him on his back when putting him to sleep.
• Shushing: Before he was born, your baby was used to hearing the rhythmic “shushing” of Mom’s blood flow. By copying this sound, you will be able to comfort and calm him with the familiar sounds of his “safe” place. As an alternative, consider experimenting with other “white noises” to help soothe his nerves, such as a recording of running water, an oscillating fan, or a running dishwasher.
• Swinging: While growing in Mom’s womb, your baby was used to the constant jiggling motions of his environment. To help soothe him, support his head and hold him while you gently sway, bounce, and “shiver,” but not shake, him. Note that this “shiver” motion is not meant to be hard, but a gentle movement back and forth of no more than an inch in any direction. This technique is especially effective on babies that are wailing in full-blown distress.
• Sucking: Again, when you observe your unborn child in the womb, you will often see him sucking on his fingers or hand. Now born, he will still take comfort in sucking on his thumb or pacifier. This rhythmic motion helps to center and ground your baby as he receives all types of sensory input from the world around him.

Regardless of where your baby falls within the temperament spectrum, it’s best to observe and understand his unique temperament in developing the right technique to soothe your newborn baby. The way you interact and respond to his ways of Expressing Feelings will affect how he eventually learns to regulate his emotions and set expectations for his future interactions with others.

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Play Tips:

Do you want to know how you can support your baby’s development of Expressing Feelings skills at this age? It’s easy! Read on for some simple tips to incorporate into your daily play time together.

1. Share your baby’s feelings. Encourage your baby when he’s delighting in joy, but also recognize his feelings when he’s upset and fussy. Acknowledging and identifying with how he feels will make him feel cared for, heard, and validated. By always responding to his expression of feelings in the same way, you are building his understanding of emotions and how to deal with them appropriately.
2. Calm your baby by using soft voices and gentle caresses.¹ When your baby is sad or upset, calm him down by speaking or humming to him softly and reassuringly touching his stomach or back as loving support. If he continues to cry or fuss continuously, consider using Dr. Harvey Karp’s 5 S’s to help soothe and relax him to a quiet calm.
3. Recognize your baby’s daily pattern of needs. Try to get to know his cues for typical needs, such as sleep, feedings, and diaper changes, and attend to these cries for help with consistent care. Observing the general pattern of his daily routine will help you prepare for your baby’s needs and build his trust by taking care of him before he gets too upset or frustrated.
4. Learn the signs to avoid over-stimulation and discomfort. When a child is exposed to too much stimuli at once, he may end up trying to get away from the situation by turning his gaze or attention away, crying and fussing, or shutting down entirely.² Behaviors which show that your baby is tired or uncomfortable include startles, twitches, gagging, coughing, spitting up, and yawning, while physical signs include pale or red, blotchy skin, body rigidity, tight fists or splayed fingers, heavy or uneven breathing, frowning, and furrowing of the brow. Be sure to reduce the intensity or complexity of the activities you play together if necessary, and learn all of your baby’s cues for over-stimulation, tiredness, and distress.⁵
5. Never shake or roughly handle your fussy and crying baby. Inconsolable crying is the leading trigger to shaking a baby, which can lead to Shaken Baby Syndrome, a form of abusive head trauma that may result in brain damage or death.^8,9 No matter how frustrated or tired you may be of your baby’s seemingly endless crying and fussing, never handle him roughly. Understand that he is unable to control and manage his behaviors at this age. If you feel like you’re unable to care for him at the moment, be sure to seek immediate support from family members, friends, and trusted neighbors who can help watch your baby as you catch your breathe. If you cannot find anyone to help you at the moment, it’s best to lay him down in his crib or bouncy seat in a safe place, close the door, and have a moment to yourself to cope with your own stress and physical needs.

(SPECIAL OFFER: Sign up for Playful Bee’s Bee Well developmental learning program to give your baby the best start in life. The first 10,000 children enroll for FREE! Sign up today.)

Developmental Milestones:

Has your newborn achieved the following Expressing Feelings developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) he has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and so easy to use, just click HERE!

• Lets you know when she is happy or sad.
• Cries or fusses when bored.
• Uses facial expressions and sounds to convey feelings.

Sources:

¹Maryland State Department of Education (2010). Healthy Beginnings: Supporting Development and Learning from Birth through Three Years of Age.

²Connecticut Department of Social Services. Connecticut’s Guidelines for the Development of Infant and Toddler Early Learning.

³Nugent, Dr. Kevin, and Morell, Abelardo (2011). Your Baby is Speaking to You. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

⁴Dubinsky, Dana (2012). Harvey Karp’s ‘Happiest Baby’ method for baby sleeping and soothing. BabyCenter.com. Retrieved January 30, 2014, from http://www.babycenter.com/0_harvey-karps-happiest-baby-method-for-baby-sleep-and-soothin_10373838.bc.

⁵Karp, Harvey, M.D. (2003). The Happiest Baby on the Block. New York, NY: Bantam Dell.

⁶Healthy Children (2014). Swaddling: Is it Safe? Healthy Children. Retrieved January 30, 2014, from http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/diapers-clothing/pages/Swaddling-Is-it-Safe.aspx.

⁷U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (2013). About SIDS and Safe Infant Sleep. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: Safe to Sleep. Retrieved January 30, 2014, from http://www.nichd.nih.gov/sts/about/Pages/default.aspx.

⁸Carbaugh, S.F. (2004). Understanding Shaken Baby Syndrome. Advances in Neonatal Care, 4(2), 105-116.

⁹Mayo Clinic (2011). Shaken Baby Syndrome. Mayo Clinic. Retrieved January 30, 2014, from http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/shaken-baby-syndrome/basics/definition/con-20034461.

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Playful Bee

Education Team at Playful Bee

Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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