Young children are egocentric (i.e. self-centered, absorbed with oneself) and naturally see things from their own points of view and try to promote their self-interests.¹ Whether it’s doing things their way or wanting to play with what they can’t have, they simply want what they want, when they want it. End of story. Sound familiar?

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Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson believed that, starting at 18 months, toddlers become egocentric as they develop their independence, free will, and Self-Concept (a person’s self-image).^2,3 Developmental psychologist Jean Piaget researched further into the underlying reason for this self-centeredness. He concluded that toddlers are egocentric because they are not yet capable of logical thought and believe that everyone has the same thoughts and desires as them and that they are in control.^1,2

Even if your baby is not quite 18 months old yet, he is beginning to develop egocentric behaviors and Self-Concept skills now. During his 12-18 month period, you will notice him venturing out on his own with you nearby. Whether he works with new materials or explores a new place, he still relies on trusted adults like you to feel safe and confident in trying out new things.⁴ He will likely look to you for social referencing, or information and clues as to how to proceed.⁵

Some children at this stage may stop playing when their caregivers leave the room, but start playing again soon after they come back. Others make it clear through words and actions that they want their parents near them at all times.⁴ As your baby plays and explores during this time, don’t be surprised if you find him looking back at you from time to time to make sure that you’re still there and that you approve of what he’s doing.⁶ When he does look for you for reassurance, be sure to give him a smile, word, or gesture to encourage him to continue his activity.

Even while he’s showing these types of dependency behaviors, he is actually becoming more independent in mind and spirit with each passing day. You will not only find him exploring more on his own, but he will also develop more self-awareness, self-worth, and individual preferences now. You will hear him saying “mine” about everything he finds or see him look in the mirror and say his name.^7,8 Your baby will let you know what he wants and needs by reaching or pointing to objects or asking directly for what he wants. And if you don’t help him get what he wants, don’t be surprised if he starts fussing or throwing a tantrum to get a better result.

This can be a frustrating stage for parents, but understand that your baby is starting to do more and more with a specific purpose now, so you can best help him develop a strong Self-Concept by being aware of his likes and dislikes, helping him reach his goals, and setting clear boundaries about where he may go and what he may touch.

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Play Tips:

Do you want to know how you can support your baby’s development of Self-Concept skills at this age? It’s easy! Read on for some simple tips to incorporate into your daily play time together.

1. Give your baby reassurance and let him explore independently. If your baby is nervous about exploring some new activity or object on his own, let him know that it’s okay to venture out alone. Stay nearby and offer a warm smile of support when he looks at you for reassurance. Children establish their basic attitudes toward learning and self-esteem during their early years, so be sure to encourage your baby to explore new activities that are appropriate for his abilities. This will help build his self-confidence and make him feel good about himself and his successes.⁹
2. Provide guidance on safety rules and hazards.⁴ Use firm and simple words if your baby is getting too close to dangerous materials or situations. While your house may already be “baby-proofed” with all toxic materials locked away and baby gates put in place, the rest of the world is not! So, let your baby know what to do about everyday hazards outside of your home. For instance, make it a rule to hold your hand when he walks on the sidewalk or in a parking lot so that he doesn’t run into traffic.

Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Self-Concept developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) she has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

• Explores alone with parents nearby.

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Sources:

¹Rathus, S. A. (2011). Childhood and Adolescence: Voyages in Development. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning.

²Grace Children’s Learning Center. Stages of Social-Emotional Development in Children and Teenagers. Grace Children’s Learning Center. Retrieved February 19, 2014, from http://www.graceangels.org/docs/Social_EMotional_Dev_Stages.pdf.

³Utah Education Network. Child Development Theorists. Utah Education Network.Retrieved February 19, 2014, from http://www.uen.org/cte/family/child_development/downloads/responsibilities/child-development-theorists.pdf.

⁴Maryland State Department of Education (2010). Healthy Beginnings: Supporting Development and Learning from Birth through Three Years of Age.

⁵Abedon, Emily Perlman. Toddler Empathy. Parents: American Baby. Retrieved February 19, 2014, from http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/toddler-empathy/.

⁶California Department of Education (2009). California Infant/Toddler Learning and Development Foundations.

⁷Lewis, M. and Brooks-Gunn, J. (1979). Social cognition and the acquisition of self. New York, NY: Plenum Press.

⁸Connecticut Department of Social Services. Connecticut’s Guidelines for the Development of Infant and Toddler Early Learning.

⁹Elkind, David (2001). The Hurried Child: Growing Up too Fast Too Soon. Lavonia, MI: Addison Wesley Longman Publishing.

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Playful Bee

Education Team at Playful Bee

Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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