Caring for Others: Building Empathy in Your Toddler

Caring for Others: Building Empathy in Your Toddler

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Young children develop empathy (i.e. understanding or caring for others) by “observ(ing) the feelings of another and respond(ing) with care and concern for that other.”1 Even at birth, research has shown that babies are born with the innate ability to be compassionate and empathetic towards others, as crying babies often cause “sympathy distress” in neighboring babies.2 Your baby will develop Empathy for Others by observing you and other loved ones interact with one another. With every act of patience, kindness, and compassionate help, you show him how to be sensitive to other people’s needs.2 You can support your baby’s development of empathy by modeling these types of behaviors at every opportunity.3

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Although he may currently believe that all other children like the same activities, toys, and foods as he does,4,5 as he gets older, and with more time spent with others, he will develop a better understanding of how other children really feel and what they like–even if it’s different than what he likes! Sometime during his 12-18 month period, your baby will begin to understand that he is a distinctive person, separate from others, and he will learn that other people may not share his same feelings and needs.6 During this time, you may notice him getting upset when he sees a crying child,5 offering a toy to a sad child to try to comfort her,7,8or coming to you for help. Let your baby play with or near other children to become familiar with the proper emotional responses and social behaviors for different situations.

Because empathy supports and builds pro-social (helpful) behavior,1 it is important to encourage your baby’s sense of empathy wherever and whenever possible. Identifying feelings is an important tool in teaching empathy.9 Smile at him and say, “Happy Mommy,” or hug your crying child and say, “Sad baby.” You may even notice him naming feelings, such as pointing to a crying child and saying “boo boo.” Using your words to describe the emotions of any given situation is great in helping your baby more easily recognize emotional responses in others.

The development of empathy can differ from child to child due to each child’s individual temperament and emotional development. A child who is more aggressive by nature may have more focus on himself than others. On the other hand, a shy child may be less inclined to help others if he becomes anxious at the possibility of a social interaction. In these cases, the child may be more delayed in developing his empathy compared to his peers. It’s important, though, to keep identifying feelings and modeling empathy to help build the understanding of how others feel.

Play Tips:

Do you want to know how you can support your baby’s development of Empathy for Others skills at this age? It’s easy! Read on for some simple tips to incorporate into your daily play time together.

  1. Model empathy through words or actions.10 When your baby interacts with you, identify and confirm how his emotions or his actions make you feel. You can also point out and show him how he can help others in times of need. Be sure to use the term “I” when you speak about your feelings to create a sense of self-awareness (e.g. “I feel sad when you push me away”). These tips will help your baby understand that his actions can have an affect on how people feel.
  2. Explain that hitting or mean behavior hurts. When an incident happens, ask your baby to share with you how he’d feel if he were the one hit or mistreated. Something like pointing to the injured child and saying “owie” might be enough to make the point. Try to help him relate to how the other person feels and emphasize that hitting or other bad behaviors are not acceptable because they can hurt other people and their feelings.
  3. Practice emotional intelligence.10 Knowing how to identify different feelings and recognize the postures and facial expressions that come with those feelings is extremely valuable in helping your baby develop empathy. Consider reading books and stories about feelings or pretend play with him to demonstrate emotional reactions to specific behaviors and acts.

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Developmental Milestones:

Has your baby achieved the following Empathy for Others developmental milestones yet? If yes, check off all the skill(s) she has already mastered to date using Playful Bee’s developmental milestones tracker. It’s absolutely FREE and easy to use, just click HERE!

  • Begins to show concern and/or seek help when she sees another child is upset or hurt.

 

Sources:

1Quann, Valerie, and Carol Anne Wien. The Visible Empathy of Infants and Toddlers. National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC): Beyond the Journal. Retrieved February 19, 2014, from https://www.naeyc.org/files/yc/file/200607/Quann709BTJ.pdf.

2Nugent, Dr. Kevin, and Morell, Abelardo (2011). Your Baby Is Speaking to You. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.

3Texas Early Learning Council. Little Texans, Big Futures: Your Early Learning Guide for Infants, Toddlers, and Three-Year-Olds.

4Rathus, S. A. (2011). Childhood and Adolescence: Voyages in Development. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning.

5Maryland State Department of Education (2010). Healthy Beginnings: Supporting Development and Learning from Birth through Three Years of Age.

6Abedon, Emily Perlman. Toddler Empathy. Parents. Retrieved February 19, 2014, from http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/toddler-empathy/.

7New Jersey Council for Young Children (2013). New Jersey Birth to Three: Early Learning Standards.

8New Mexico State Children, Youth, and Families Department, NM Department of Health, and NM Public Education department (2012). New Mexico Early Learning Guidelines: Birth through Kindergarten.

9MacLeod, Erika (2013). 8 Ways to Cultivate Empathy in Kids. Forbes. Retrieved March 4, 2014, from http://www.forbes.com/sites/ashoka/2013/04/29/8-ways-to-cultivate-empathy-in-kids/.

10Zero to Three. Tips on Helping Your Child Develop Empathy. Zero to Three: National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families. Retrieved February 19, 2014, from http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/social-emotional-development/take-a-walk-in-my-shoes.html.

Playful Bee

Education Team at Playful Bee
Playful Bee is an e-Preschool that delivers inquiry-based preschool learning from the classroom to your home. Our preschool curriculum was created by our talented team of rock star teachers. With years of hands-on preschool and Kindergarten teaching experience, they've developed a high-quality preschool experience that is convenient-to-use and easy-to-teach by you, grandparents, or your nanny at home.

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