Infinity and Beyond: Using Play to Form Bonds with Our Children
My son is a vivacious, active 3-year-old who keeps me very busy. Sometimes, however, things just need to get done, and I found that one of the only things that can keep his butt in a chair is Toy Story. It gives me some downtime at the end of the night to do laundry without him doing cannonballs into the basket of folded clothes or cleaning up the dinner table without him going for a ride on my feet. Even better, it planted new characters and situations in my child’s brain for him to explore. When we made the Toy Story discovery, no one was more thrilled than my husband—he was eight years old when the original came out, and now he (my husband!) had someone to play and form bonds with over the movie!
(Playful Bee is launching our new DIY Preschool from Birth program! Click here to enroll.)
My little boy instantly decided that he was Woody and that Daddy was Buzz Lightyear. They started taking Tupperware bowls out of the cabinets to use as a space helmet and a cowboy hat. Then they hopped on their brooms—which would be Bullseye, of course—and galloped around the house in search of adventure and shooting invisible bad guys with pretend lasers.
My son used this time to act out situations that made him happy and defeat the monsters from his bad dreams. My husband used this time to teach him how to verbalize when something was bothering him and to encourage him to explore his ideas. From this play, my husband and I learned a great deal about what makes our kid tick, and my son felt closer to my husband as a result of the quality one-on-one time that they spent together. The games that they created together helped my son to be creative and develop socially.
A few months ago, my husband left for basic training in the Air Force, and I have had to tackle parenting alone. (It’s true that you don’t have to fight over the little things anymore—like how late is too late to stay up and watch Christmas specials on cable or if it is appropriate to have ice cream before dinner—but it makes disciplining a great deal more difficult without someone to back you up!) Like any good parents, we were mostly concerned about how my husband’s absence would affect our son, but the time they spent playing together kept them connected.
For at least two months while my husband was still here, my son refused to call his father Daddy but insisted on calling him Buzz. Although it broke his father’s heart, it really showed how much my son believed in these personas that he and his father had played out every night—and how important they had become to him. Now when he has nightmares in the middle of the night, Buzz protects him—even when Buzz is actually 3,000 miles away. When they get to Skype or talk to each other on the phone, my son tells his daddy all about how he fights the bad guys in his dreams.
Life gets incredibly busy, and it can be hard to take a moment and get down on the floor and have some fun with your little one, but playing with them is the best way to stay connected and form bonds—even when you can’t always be together all the time.
(Playful Bee is launching our new DIY Preschool from Birth program! Click here to enroll.)
For more information:
Ginsburg, Kenneth R. (2007). The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds. Pediatrics. Retrieved April 16, 2013, from http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/119/1/182.full.html.
Women’s and Children’s Health Network. Play with Children. Women’s and Children’s Health Network. Retrieved April 16, 2013 from http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&np=122&id=1943.
*This post was contributed by guest blogger Shauna Armitage.
Playful Bee
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